TURN
IF YOU DARE
IF YOU DARE
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Clara here
I want to eat and sleep with no consequences.
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Saturday, July 29, 2006, 9:51 PM
Exam Results
I failed four subjects during mid year and i never shed a single tear.
Today, 29th july
i got back my ballet results..
i got distintion.
yeah is your first thought.
but is a distintion with 79 marks.
i was utterly disappointed.
i don't know what to think.
i was trying to hold back my tears in class
after i left yamaha and waiting for bus
i can wait no more
i started tearing..
trying to keep it from other people i tried rubbing my tears away
unsuccessfully..
i reach home and i a cried crying loudly,
it have been a long time since i cried this bad.
i cried and
cried
and cried
and cried non-stop...
i decided to go sownstair to run a few laps
to stop me from crying.
it works..
i came up rest for awhile
and automatically started to flood the house again.
i chat with ed on the phone and he comfort me a little.
after which joy and pearline called,
they got 83 and 89 respectively.
its not i never ecpext that but is just again stab in the heart.
i control my voice in the phone
so that they dun know i was on the verge of crying again!
after i hang up the phone
i start to cry again.
you might be wondering what is so bad about 79..
its not bad but is very bad to me...
i got the same results last year
and i really put alot of effort for the exam..
whats wrong with me?
am i that bad??
my friends always laugh at me
cause i take ballet
and apparently i don't have thephysic for dancing..
so i want to thank god here for making me such a fat pig..
if you are not a dancer you will not understand what i feel at all...
i don't know when i can get over it...
i am too overwhelm with sadness...
my tears are ever-flowing...
i am even crying now that i am writing..
i am such a failure...