Once a fantasy Always a fantasy

stop

2011-03-04T13:35:00.003+08:00

after taking such a long break from posting, or even just writing something that has nothing to do with the economy, i am kind of stun at what to write.

we are at a stage in life where we want to do everything and be everybody, but we cant. we have to decide which direction we would like to head in. and we will never know if we made the "right" choice because we cant reverse our route and try out a different path for comparison.

as we grow, our ability to make friends seems to shrink as well. many tend to guard their feelings and emotions. its tough to find someone who dares to be true. kudos to those.

friends come and go. it cant be more true in uni. there are just too many distractions. it rides back to the fact that we want to do so much more and not many place friendship as a top piority in their to do list. relationship takes effort. its more than a "are you okay?" or eating meals everyday in the canteen together.

thank god we have old friends to lean on.

some of you have been coming to this real stagnant blog dilligently. thanks for that. i know you want to find up what the hell im up to. i have been really busy (mostly dance), trapped in pulau NTU. but i shall make a come back after march 14! Promise!

i was once told that god created us and he has a mission for each of us on this planet. so we search day in day out for that sparkle that may be hidden somewhere, just waiting to shine. for some, we discover that in school, others, we can only continue searching.

somehow i entrenched onto the path of dancing. dont be mistaken it is so not my god given talent. but over the years it did bring me tremendous joy.
this may very likely be the last 3 years i would be dancing.
this year i actually have the chance to lead a team of dancers and choroegraph.its a whole new experience really. and my head just spins everyday over this.
this is what i have been busy with.
now we have less than one week.
how do miracles happen again?

there can be miracle when you believe.

you know i dont talk to god, or ask him for guidance or seek comfort in him.
(p.s. i am not referring to any particular religion)
but god, you may not have given me the talent or flair in dancing but nonetheless i am still in this path for a reason.

let this work.

JAI HO!
turn if you dare

2010-07-26T23:52:00.002+08:00

so long since i last posted. so mach have happened. so many stupid decisions, many regretted.

I think i changed, very much for the worst since school ended. The anchors i used to have seems to disappear and i am latching onto things that i wished i could let go. i never felt so out of control of my emotions as well.

gosh, i need therapy. but first i need a long hard sleep.

HAPPY 19 CLARA! =)

2010-05-09T13:54:00.003+08:00

i am not the kind of person who thinks my birthday is kind of a big deal.
to hold parties or do something exotic.
to me is just like any other day other than the fact that i was born.
like a down scale (one out of 4 million) national day.
it used to always clash with examinations where i will be rushing through revision while my family make an effort to buy me a cake.
why should people trouble themselves just so to celebrate the day i was born?

well perhaps is like a self-assurance day or day that you see the people who cares. but i guess it made me realise that friendship is hard to come by. i believe in fate. there must be a reason why you meet this person.

want to give a BIG THANK YOU for all the awesome wii, htht session, dancing surprises, k box sessions where i insert all my songs (hahaha), ice cream chef free mix up!, melted ice cream...
although ally bailed on me. tsk!

i miss my sec and JC life where i laugh(heartily)everyday.
i think about each of my friend and how they made such an impact on my life that it aches me that i cannot spend more time with them. to know each of you better.

love you guys! REALLY!

ohhh i am not giving up on dancing just yet!

jade, jenn, ying shi, camilie, grace, si jia its going to be awesome!

i have a dream and i hope i have the courage to pursue it!

2010-04-17T02:07:00.002+08:00

i feel strangely detached from the world, cutting of friends, family, avoiding people. it gets really tiring.
i just need to play it cool.

tired and awake.

think i might have just made a huge error.

i said good day!

2010-03-11T00:58:00.002+08:00

today is a good day.

no work, so SA.

talked to people i want to talk to online.

met huiwen when i went for tutoring! dropped my candy due to shocked but met up with her after and had a really great time catching up!

no pudding milk tea. sad.

all in all good day. i said good day.

cheers

2010-03-10T02:03:00.002+08:00

having a gay friend is so entertaining. the things you learn. haha

anyway, A's was released last fri.
great seeing miss chua again. she's really awesome and she indirectly pass me my result slip cause she pass to ms lai who pass to me. so i said thanks to her too! haha

results--- unexpected.
feelings-- unexpected.
apparently according to liz, okay is not an okay word to use when describing my results.

hello mish do you read my blog?
when your name never appear for 4H2 A. I was huh?! and frowning.
haha you prefect scorer!so happy for you!(i forgot about this category!)
i am going to note down once and for all that you are the culprit for any crying we ever had on results day.
we been through a lot mish! best of luck from now on! you're no longer going to see me down any corridors or in classes. miss me lots cause think i am really going to miss your absence!
you are really special girl!
ka-ku-ke-ku-piong

i think michele always will remind me of secondary school days cause we did do many things together.
think the one thing we never do together is study. HAHA

I want to sit on a mattress and slide down the flight of steps at joel's till we hit the bottom of the stairs and laugh.
i want to cook maggie mee and golden mushroom with osyter source and watch movie at qing's and eunice's.
i want to meet up everyday to do the same thing but feel happy at mish's.
i want to go tuition with him and play his sax at clement's.
i want to play all the dumb computer games and foreign reality tv while cracking up at all her jokes at yu ting's.

deadly wants~

i wonder what spur this long post...

Asked a girl what she wanted to be

2010-03-07T02:53:00.001+08:00

HELLO, I AM VERY HAPPY FOR BOTH OF YOU!

St Andrew

2010-02-13T00:33:00.002+08:00

warning: the extract below protrays feelings of anger coupled with extreme weariness

i really don't understand how (my work place) expects its employees to be happy enough to smile to all the guests and treat them with a 100% positive attitude when whatever happens at the BOH just makes people wanna throw sticks and stones at the management. or maybe is just (my department) problem. or perhaps just (my department)'s boss problem.either way, today it brought me to boiling point and i still manage to be nice to him which in return, got none of his understanding but unreasonable explanation(in fact i highly doubt is any form of explanation) To think i always try to see where you're coming from and still root for you when others diss you. well done SA. you just lost all the respect i ever gave you. hope you screw up big time tmr. happy chinese new year.

divine access

2010-01-28T21:56:00.003+08:00

as i grow older, i slowly mould into someone that i no longer recognise. i stopped acting like someone that society deems as inapporiate. every person i meet, i see a certain resemblance in me.

a few days back when i was packing my room, i came across camp books and reflections from my friends about me and i have changed. changed into someone that only makes myself miserable by acting the way i am doing so now. so what if society condemns my actions? as long as i am not doing anything illegal and disturbing, am i not entitled to do it? but at what cost? losing my friends? disrespect from relatives?

i feel like meditating.

courage. inborn or built?

how can someone claims to understand when they never experience it before? you don't tell someone to do it. and say it comes with practice crap. any situation that ties in with emotion ain't that easy to settle. its a fox-y situation.

no beatles time

2010-01-15T00:16:00.002+08:00

fuck my life is falling apart and i am too tired to think about it.

i need the wind to do its trick again.

part of that world

2010-01-07T20:24:00.006+08:00

nah i am too tired to argue with myself
devil, you win.

i need to practice zen

to top it off i need to stand for 7 hours tmr
and nobody to sing song with

so you ain't that great either. you are just like me. HAHA i like the realisation!

so you think you can dance

2010-01-06T20:43:00.005+08:00

true magic do happen

this, will blow your mind away

this genre is different, is dark, is raw, is exciting. gives you the feeling of sweeny todd.
never like street jazz but they convinced me
the music? perfection.

one of the judges commented "this is sick. this is awesome!"
exact sentiment

i think im a little behind time this was like season 4! haha
never spam videos but these are too good to choose.
hope you enjoy.

2010-01-04T01:54:00.002+08:00

yesterday at 2am in the morning i was at sk's house- smiling.
now i am at home thinking about last night.
i shall skip the details and wish wc quick recovery!

its 2010, i am going to think less and act.

ha, when will the cold war erupt? hello _______, i will apologise in advance!

work tmr that i am not looking forward to!

2010-01-03T16:08:00.002+08:00

is amazing how you can ruin my day just like that. i wonder what it would take to make me go to you.

just woke up after a long long night that seem so so short. shall blog about it later!

who do you trust enough to share your insecurities with?

MEN SAO and SAO BAO!

2009-12-21T23:16:00.007+08:00

day at the beach was worth the freaking painful burnt tan!

highlights while we live in "1149"
1- sk emo-ing
2- rach and cy fighting over terrority while playing the no mo qi game of volleybal
3-yellow submarine called crystal
4-crystal's "do i look like a floating corpse" statement follwed by submerging herself in salt water
5-bobbing cherie
6-ally's horrible tan in contrast to simone's no tan
7- our extraordinary fingers which has the extraordinary ability to milk cows
8-yi qian men sao behaviou shown in toys'r us
9-everybody revealing sao bao side of them!
10- cherie's birthday present!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIANG!

THE MEN SAO PERIOD...

THE SAO BAO PERIOD...

all in all, it was an awesome day that we all want to remember!

p.s 2 mutton cury today--- the most fulfilling dinner ever!

owls are watching outside my window

2009-12-14T03:26:00.004+08:00

i sleep at 3 am in the morning every day and wake up at noon.
that is abnormal and unhealthy to being with but today i drank coffee before coming home. so at 3.30 in the morning i am still wide wide awake.

i am so not able to wake up at 7am on wed.

christmas round the corner

2009-12-11T00:30:00.008+08:00

i think i am a little loss for words right now

i think pictures are good. they allow us to remember. remember our happy moments cause pictures taken by ourselves usually contains people smiling and thats good.

and food is good.
is there such thing called shiva? where people bring food to a person's home after the death of a family member etc. sounds like my kind of practice.
i am going to learn how to cook and bake cause food's my way.

being selfish is bad.
but bad only to oneself cause we see the world as the one around us most of the time. why do we always fail to see the big bigger picture?

and being unable to control emtions is bad too.
ever feel of getting out of a situation and once you're out of it, you just wish you were back in? that feels bad.

p.s don't believe every word i say here and if you don't undertand a word here, is okay. i don't understand either!

i thought the song fuck you by lily allen is a really refreshing way to release some heat while smiling

2009-12-01T14:05:00.001+08:00

i think the reason behind me reading and watching and talking nonstop is to prevent myself from thinking.
cause when i do, i stop feeling happy.

family

2009-11-21T22:26:00.003+08:00

"The most important thing in life is family. There are days you love them and others that you don't. But in the end they are the people you always come home to. Sometimes is the family you are born into and sometimes is the one you made for yourself."

--- anonomyous

i heard the above quote from a show and i thought is what i really feel about family. Not too sure if you understand what the other family in the last sentence refers to. is actually your friends. or the closer and best-er friends. It brings hope you me. cause no matter what in life you need your friends to help you get past it. or maybe just to make the process less bitter.

warning: you shouldn't continue if you don't give a damn about me

recently my sis told me about her best friend that she barely talk to on the phone (or keep in contact) but still-- best friend. and i felt really happy about that cause i keep wondering if keeping in touch is like one of the criteria of being a best friend. and now i know is not, i will gladly live in my world of having those best friends. (hint hint to some people out there)
but again the trick lies in does the other party feels the same?

anyway my sis-in-law is really quite different from the people in my family and having her in the family really change the dynamics and my perception of family. she's a well plus addition.(plus the fact that she gave birth to an adorable son!) okay don't want to say too much here but there is something special about her(which i ain't going to reveal)that i really appreciate and should thank her for. my bro's lucky! haha

p.s. rather rare of me to talk about family here. wow i must have open up somehow.

signing off

2009-11-20T07:45:00.006+08:00

is just funny that i dreamt about econs again. This time is regarding some calculation that affected my whole question. I seem really upset in the dream. and it seems so real again. Just got me wondering what is real and dream. I mean what im dreaming can simply be the reality while now im just in the dream. Well anyway, i don't know which end is better.

6 hours

2009-11-20T00:16:00.002+08:00

6 hours. im totally drain. I think i talked too much. Haha Crap econs tmr again.

2009-11-19T08:07:00.002+08:00

i think somewhere in my subconcious mind econs is really bothering me
i mean i did all thats necessary: try not to think about it, good good food in front of the couch...
but i kinda woke up wondering when i fell asleep and realisd i had been dreaming the whole night! and and i woke up thinking about why i wrote the gini coefficient wrongly and why i didn't elaborate on non-material well being when i should.

actually i only remember one clear part of the dream and is about lin pei! apparently i asked him about question 1b and he told me i did the right thing. and i was so happy i think i went to tell chuan yun haha. so when i went to bath i thought when did i meet mr lin yesterday? thats when i realised it's in the freaking dream!

i really did a screwed up job. i hopd i can get a decent grade like C? i mean right now i don't even think i pass.

p.s. they totally need to change the time limit. you can't throw us new question and don't give us time to think through it, we will just end up writing a whole bunch of crap.(hmm, i should have written this on my script)

anyway my fav song right now, if you used to be a hi-5 fan you will like this =)

survive the test of time

2009-11-13T22:40:00.005+08:00

and just like that my math and gp fate----sealed
exams didnt went too well

why do god make me the way i am
allowing me momentary happiness and taking the memory from me such that the only thing i can do is live in the moment. At times where i need these memories, it just slide pass me and i plunge into the moment's emotion again. I am tired of living life this way.

i miss the PW days where the only things i have to worry about is PW and i have 3 other awesome team mates to share it with me. all the talk cock sharing sessions and pictionary, and skits and cam whore... man, good days. And now i have to worry about how f up math was and not checking for grammar in gp and not comprehending how badly bio went.

my last post long long time ago was on cy's birthday. ha and at that time we were worried about prelims. it seems so insignificant now. hopefully in the future, a's will seem as insignificant. but thats the problem, right now, studies is everything that is holding a child together. if i link it to gp it will probabaly be something like that: i agree with the author as for singaporeans student, play=school=studying=work. in the end, doing well in studies is our work, our responsibility.

hell i am going to nail bio mcq to make up for paper 2. i am suppose to think positive right.

CHUAN YUN'S BIRTHDAY!!

2009-09-30T22:19:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUAN YUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay i promised i will upload the photos by this week!
i just want to say that wo fei chang fei chang fei chang de kai xin and fei chang fei chang fei chang de kai xin that ni men ke yi pei wo du guo zhe yi tian. haha i know is not my birthday but i hope cy feels the same way! =)

going for swensen ice cream buffet is easily the best choice we ever made!
awesome food + company + games + laughter + tigger + chinese words + fondue!!
i really don't know how to describe, is just really really really fei chang fei chang de fun oh!!!!
WAN SUI!!

will elaborate more when pictures are up! for now, i just need to remember how fantabulous the night was because i know im already slowly forgetting what we were all laughter so badly about.
WAN SUI!

CY!! HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!
HOPE YOU HAVE LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FUN TODAY
AND THAT YOUR ROOM WILL BE MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE BRIGHTER AND GREENIER
AND THAT YOU HAVE AN ORAGNGE COMPANY (that is very agreeable and horny) EVERY NIGHT

2009-09-27T22:15:00.002+08:00

suddenly my house is empty
and before i know it i am watching friends and eating ben and jerry ice cream
haha

feels good but have not really started studying for bio tmr yet!

haha i shall go study now!
just felt that this is worth mentioning!
sounds happy
=)

BING!

2009-09-20T22:15:00.003+08:00

Dinner with huiwen and xinyi on friday at 85!!
best food and best company and meeting some unexpected people who asks stupid question. i love the reply though! =)

friday afternoon with classmates was real fun too! get to see chuan yun's room! really unique and i like it. =)
hope she realised what we left her.

i realised i want to talk to 5 people cause i need to be honest with them about some things. but knowing me, i will never get to it.

spent my whole day looking through videos instead of studying chem.
this is my favourite!

i miss friends.
he's awesome!

Devolve

2009-09-17T16:24:00.007+08:00

Joey:All right, Rach. The big question is, “does he like you?” All right? Because if he doesn’t like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

something's wrong.

ben and jerry's no longer work.
who or what do i turn to now?

2009-09-09T12:03:00.003+08:00

i don't know why i keep making all the wrong choices
i should never be allowed to choose.

A SMALL DONKEY

2009-09-02T23:50:00.001+08:00

2009-08-20T00:49:00.003+08:00

i hope i am not making the wrong choice

looking at med course
turns out it is the course im most interested in
how weird
but again how can i compete with doctors?!!
haha

for all taking As this year:

STRIVE ON AND STAY STONG!

2009-08-15T00:53:00.004+08:00

i think i really need to thank an unexpected someone today
Thanks Alson!
if you see this, you will know why!!
im very very grateful!

also i need to thank pear for the fab dinner!
is so long since i went out to really enjoy myself!
cheers to strawberry hagen daz!

something happened today that reminded me of what zakki said before a long long time ago
"nobody is indispensable"
how true

"you spent the first 2 years of your life learning the fundamental of life- to talk, walk, eat,poop. but you spent the next 80 years pondering over why is the world so fucked up"

people call me a pessimist
but i think i am just being practical

we judged people, but how much control does one have over their personality?

i don't know how i can be so superficial sometimes given how i look myself

MS CHUA'S BIRTHDAY!

2009-08-06T22:08:00.010+08:00

Sorry for late photos!!
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS CHUA!
WE HOPE YOU LOVE YOUR SURPRISE AND PRESNTS AND CAKE AND EVERYTHING!
WE SHALL AIM FOR 100% A FOR MATHS!!!

prepartion early in the morning!!
thank god for teachers' meeting!
you should see how fast we ran to hide the board when someone warned that ms chua is approaching!!

During Maths lesson...

we tried to get the whole class to leave the classroom during math
it started off with 7 people in class going to the toilet
(if you are clever enough, you will know who)
next alicia went in saying mr cheong looking for gp rep, together with his happy family
then chuan yun who is suppose to get asmirah and gang out only manage to pull out asmirah alone. Tsk

ms chua getting suspicious!

in the end the plan failed so we all walked in and sing birthday song!

following that the pictures say it all!

in preparation for phototaking next week
we rehearse a lot!!

08S113
YEAH ALL THE WAY!!!

New's blog skin!

2009-08-02T16:27:00.006+08:00

OKAY i think some people will be happy that i changed my blog skin

i like the pic above!
i think it may be partially due to the fact that i can't do a cartwheel.
After searching through so many photos, i eventually settle with this cause i can't seem to let go of it in my mind even though it doesn't tally with the happier effect i wanted.
so now the blog seems to be leaning towards the darker side
oh well, opportunity cost.

talking about opportunity cost, it took me the whole afternoon to change skin!
wasted my whole afternoon doing this
neglected my work again!
i hope i have the motivation to work late into the night tonight!
cause something tells me i am not going to be able to concentrate even after i log off.

anyway if you realised, chuan yun's link is not available
so i waiting for your webbie ar! HAHA
no stress

things i want to do right now
1. go to pear house and eat strawberry hagen daz ice cream
2. meet up with hw and xy
2. finish reading my book
3. search for song lyrics
4. DANCE

2009-08-01T23:56:00.014+08:00

came home and just ko on the bed again
been like this the past few days

today, nearing my waking up time,
i was so reluctant to get out of bed
because i refuse to face the pile of homework waiting for me
it just felt so nice lying down and not thinking of anything
the workload is piling up and up and up so fast
i feel like im playing an endless game of catching

i need some cheering up badly
but to be able to feel joy from within,
will be the day where i finally catch up and overtake

and my race starts now!
bio first!

aw man, is august!
less than 30 days to prelims
too fast, too furious

2009-07-31T18:10:00.009+08:00

went to pizza hut today with chuan yun and crystal
the 3/4 Cs
although a rare permutation of the Cs,
we HTHT for quite some time
i don't why but it seems so comfortable
bah
and oh we decided that i am going psyco
so watch out
but again we decided that chuan yun has big I which ain't exactly accurate
suddenly i can hear crystal's voice haha

anyway i was inspired by something
and i am going to change, starting tonight.
this is a promise to myself

CHER JIA LONG CLEMENT!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

does 3 happy birthday make up for not celerating with you today?!
SORRY! We will do it soon!!

the day where her parents made her- mr max

2009-07-31T17:54:00.018+08:00

was alicia's birthday yesterday
since it is the first birthday of the year where we properly celebrate
i think it calls for some pictures!
furthermore, is like the nicest cake ever!
personalised with heart and hello kitty by the "can draw" people in the group
and we totally surprised her with her pink bottle present! HAHA

promised to post all her unglam shots! =)
here goes

this is personally my fav shot

i can't exactly remember how i feel at that moment but we sure look truely happy. it's such a rare treat.

now all we have are bitter grins

LIVE IN THE MOMENT

shall post a glam photo of you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIN YING!=)

2009-07-27T20:58:00.007+08:00

another superdog night
even though it is with a different group
it is just as satisfying
i am happy for that

the walk home under the rain added to the emo mood today too
i wish to continue walking
but i have to come back to complete my work
what kind of life is this?
haha thank god for superdog =)

Dear,

biology
chemistry
mathematics
economics
GP

when am i going to conquer you?
and know you at my fingertips?
you are making things so hard for everybody
can you please please concede defeat soon?
you will be much loved then
thank you

love
clara

2009-07-22T20:52:00.004+08:00

i think i need to see the doctor

weifjnwubrcviunweicmiwoencdobdubv
decipher this is you can

Harry Potter

2009-07-19T23:24:00.003+08:00

HAIS...
the word i like to use after watching a good film or rewatching a film that i enjoyed
i just feel like hais..
don't ask me why
don't you get the feeling too?

so anyway just finish watching harry potter and the goblet of fire
hais
haha i think i am over-doing it
jk rowling is really talented
she made harry so imperfect
yet "perfected" by his flaw - not growing up in a proper family
anyway his hair is horrible in this episode

so hopefully catching the 6th movie 2 days later with cherie and chuan yun despite the fluxuating review of
"is so horrible"
"is damn nice la!"
"so not worth the money"
"its okay, they totally missed out on the major fight. i am not even sad when dumbledore(how do you spell this?) died"
i am just going to keep my expectation low so that i will enjoy the movie =)

bad news is
school starts tmr
now facing a mountain of unfinished homework and chem test to study by tomorrow!
wish me luck!

2009-07-17T23:41:00.011+08:00

yeah to friday being the shortest day of the week
boo to extra econs test on a sat morning
going to blog before sleeping

whats with people's need to stay involved?
are you trusting the right person?
or making a wrong decision?
everybody has their own trouble, own methods, own feelings
most importantly, each of us have our own personality
our flaws dictate who we are
are we suppose to eradicate them or live with them?
the grey area is turning darker and darker even though it may not be that dark to being with

if only life is this simple
we mug and we slog, with hopes that one day things may turn out just right
but life never goes according to plan

anyway,
HTHT with many people today
feeling tired but good
love super dog and long walks
shall not say much other than the fact that i conquered 2100m today! =)
its such days that make life easier to bear

to end off the post
i would like to say that my class guys are good guys
and i like that
and softball is the highlight of the week!(except for today)

2009-07-17T03:11:00.002+08:00

ahhh slept all the way from 6pm to 2am
so is officially friday!
one thing i realised is really how tired i had been all week
i woke up feeling like a totallly different person
like something lossen up within me
i can't concentrate in lectures, classes anything
just wanted to take the easy way out and turn off
its so frustrating cause we all know how short a time we have left
and my result ain't fantastic or anywhere close
so must have been a bitch all week to my friends
thanks for putting up with me!!
seriously, without them i will DIE in school

okay i know i just woke up but i am feeling tired already ha

2009-07-11T19:26:00.002+08:00

when they say
"the only limit is you"

thats bullshit

we're born with flaws

i am going to remember this day and live to regret it
11/07/2009

2009-07-09T02:52:00.003+08:00

After meddling with blogskin the whole night i found another one that i like more. so annoying! not very pleased with my current one anymore!
but the top bar is red. so oh well...

Yesterday,
went to bucks with rachel(strike 0), crystal(strike 2) and cherie(strike 10). Although cherie found me annoying, but easily it is one of the best times i had for a long long long long time. studying can really make you into a doofus. Hope they had as much fun as i do!

Today,
NO MORE READING OF NOTES!
HAHA
went to east asiafor lunch
totally imperfect substitute for the sakae buffet.
(alicia's recommendation btw!)

had a long chat for more than 5 hours there
and well, you can find all kinds of emotions
the obvious

happy and sad

+ confusion -.-??

+shocked 0.0!!

But anyway,
A friend did a very brave thing today
i would never do that. Not so courageous. =)

so basically i have been a very bad friend to everybody around me
indifferent to their feelings and needs
but sometimes is just easier to indulge in your own misery and think that everyone else is leading a perfect life.

okay! who needs BEN AND JERRY ICE CREAM?

But there are things that you can't say no matter what,
so don't ask me

2009-07-06T00:13:00.010+08:00

Ahhhh tribute to heng xin yi and fabulous night...

... and to upgrade our nights!

and... free beer!

--------------------------------------------------------------
i am going to do something that i never thought of doing before
it makes me depressed that none of the reasons they provide can be applied to me
thats because their reasons is form based on practicality
while mine is well,..
worst of all
there isn't a none of the above option

life is always a choice
sometimes you know you are choosing the wrong choice
but hell, you still do it anyways

damn it whats wrong with me recently!

i mug so hard for mid year and now i decide to stop studying
i really don't know whats going on in my grey matter
it must be changing colours

2009-06-28T21:15:00.002+08:00

i get grumpy when i don't have good food.
rule is " no food rather than bad food" (just snack later)

i get super high when i am tired

when i have bad food and feeling tired....
HA HA
in fact now is just about right

and coupled with exams the whole of next week

drop dead

one by one

2009-06-27T01:03:00.002+08:00

HAHA i have got to share this

from the movie hookwinked!
check out the lyrics!

BE PREPARED!

\

"37 years ago a witch done put a spell on me
A spell where when I'm talkin' I'm singin' it with glee.
When you're always singin' you got to live alone
That's why I made this mountain shack my home.

When you're on the mountain, there's lots to be a'feared
That's why this here old mountain goat's prepared!

(goat yodelling)

I got horns that open bottles,
And I got horns that hold my keys,
I got horns that when you turn 'em right, they help me watch TV.
I got horns that open pickle jars,
And horns that come with hair,
I got horns that hang my other horns -
I always come prepared.

To be prepared, to be prepared,
This lesson must be shared,
This lesson must be shared,
Be prepared!

Be prepared, be prepared,
And unless you got a spare,
You got one life, so handle it with care!

Yeeeheeeee! Keep your hands and feet inside of the vehicle at all times!

(goat yodelling and more)

Ooooooh, an avalanche is comin' and I do not feel prepared,
It's rumblin' like a mountain lion - I must say that I'm scared,
And if not for the witch's spell you'd hear just how I scream,
But since I'm only singin', I'll just yodel 'til we're creamed!

(goat yodelling...)

Baaaaa!"

2009-06-26T22:23:00.000+08:00

what more do you want from me!?

2009-06-14T16:37:00.005+08:00

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

2009-06-13T02:50:00.002+08:00

ever feel like you want to break free from something or someone yet you can't live without it?
which way out is better?

2009-06-12T15:56:00.003+08:00

whats this love hate relationship
not shouting at me is as hard for me not snapping back at you
if only we can break down the barriers

you're always so photogenic
how i wish i can see that smile outside the motionless photos...

hey dad look at me
think back and talk to me
did i grow up according to plan?
do you think i am wasting my time doing things i wanna do?
but it hurts when you disapprove all along

Perfect- simple plan

2009-05-28T12:34:00.004+08:00

i am sick and tired of you

I turn my head to the east
I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
Still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
Swallow that pill
That they call pride
The old me is dead and gone,
The new me will be alright

2009-05-21T18:32:00.003+08:00

yesterday was the most magnificent ever
the intense atmosphere
swift move of the stick
pushing, as people starts getting edgy
counting down
power play

i will miss all the econs lecture to watch MJ floorball team
both the guys and girls were freaking awesome

i am so so so so so so PROUD of CHUAN YUN and NIDA
they really gave it their very best

oh man, chuan yun first goal during the match
i just can't help but feel extremely happy for her
everyday i see her in school trying to catch up school work and juggling her time with floorball
although she's always smiling and joking, i know she's really stress
but she pulled through!!!

aye captain!
fight on!

okay just happened to come across this

Cartoon Network: Sports Commentary | Viral | SPIKE.com

It was the first day of basketball practice at Wingate high school in Brooklyn, N.Y. Coach Jack Kaminer handed a ball to each player. "Fellas," he said, "I want you to practice shooting from the spots you might expect to be in during the game."

The No. 12 sub immediately sat down on the bench and began arcing the ball toward the basket.

2009-05-16T11:07:00.005+08:00

i was so so so happy last night
with people i don't have to worry how i dress how i sit and how i talk and just keep laughing and the joy is just feeling happy!!
haha
food was fantastic too *winks*

anyway hope you have a good laugh out of this
enlarge to read the prints!!

birthday treats

2009-05-12T18:06:00.006+08:00

this year birthday celebration is so different but exciting and unforgettable

after having dinner at a fab indonesian restaurant i had my
FIRST CLUBBING EXPERIENCE at the butter factory
thanks to my dearest sister who made this possible!
loves

table filled with drinks
all the experience clubbers and what they claimed as "champagne girls"
everybody clicking their glass agaist mine and CHEERS!
blasting music
people basically standing around, moving to the music, and talking cock shouting to be heard over the loud music

mixing clicking and bottoms up!!

i mean is above awesome! haha

everybody seems to want to get me high cause all of them keep mixing drinks for me and getting me to drink up lots!
eventually my stomach starts to ache really badly
i think is the mixture of indonesian food and the fact that i down so much alcohol so fast that i felt so bloated!
i think my stomach kind of weak too!
went out of the r&b room for a while
and sis said i was damn red with bloodshot eyes
haha
she too!!

end up puking at my house carpark!
i can see the kang kong and sotong
ewwww! super gross
and the feeling on my throat
ewwww
no amount of water can make it go away
i think i am going to stay away from alcohol for awhile
haha

2 more person to thank for making the night super duper unforgettable
1) ah john kor kor-- only guy that night and driving me home
2) ah ying jie jie-- she knows how to club man! so fun!

pictures taken with crappy camera
oh well make do with it

2009-05-07T19:49:00.007+08:00

first thing first
GO MJ FLOORBALL GIRLS
GO MJ SOCCER GIRLS

p.s I AM NOT SEXIST

i will be rooting for you all the way!!!!
AND i will feed chuan yun everyday till she grows FAT!
and and chuan yun, this is for you too! hehe
to perkify you
and sex edu from my company
hehe

next,
had a great shopping experience with ally yesterday
dont ask me why
i was shocked myself

and,
there is like affinity with me taking 81 and jenn sneaking out somewhere to dunno do what..
twice, i saw her!
tsk tsk

lastly,
i seriously miss my friends
so so badly!
and i wish i can spend time with them tmr

but then again
i wish for many things
haha

OHOHOHOH
i got a D for chem test after working so hard
its like co and dance, after we worked our ass off and end up getting a silver.

if it doesn't work now
chances are, it's not going to work for a level either
and with mr max saying all about gp being more important nowadays
i am kind of screwed man

oh no,
i think i need a dose of strawberry cheesecake ben and jerry's ice cream NOW!!

okay one last thing before i leave to study maths
cannot let down ms chua oooo!!!
haha

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

hidden meaning everywhere...
hehe

2009-04-26T13:34:00.002+08:00

so a few things that made me weekend
someone gave me a surprise at MJC on friday
so awesome seeing you liz!!

and outing with huiwen and xin yi on sat night
we went to ice cream chef and simpang bedok!!
i miss siglap area food

now come on clara study!

2009-04-22T22:12:00.003+08:00

DANCE FAREWELL 2009

man, its been so long since i laughed so hard
thanks to jenn, really
i remembered her choregraphy during the open house dance
is my first dance battle k jenn!!!
so is a memorable thing!!
and also fuzzy
with the pussycat dolls dance
hehe
"awesome choregraphy"
and reggae(how to spell?)!! first hip hop performance for clara new beishi

not forgetting alfama
our first and only proper dance we perform outside school other than syf
"head and the centre line
hehe

melbourne trip!!
easily the best thing that happen to me last year

and one thing to remember farewell by
i won best dress 0.0
first time ever!!
probably going to be the last too anyway
haha

my teachers leave me with this code

"Dancing is the loftiest,the most moving, the most beautiful of arts, beacause it is no mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself."

thus even with i stop ballet and no longer belong to mjc dance society
i will let dance live within me forever

anyway i have winnie mongolian dance to look forward to anyway!
she already recruited me!
"hai hai" right?

turns out my camera not as bad as i thought
pictures coming up!!

2009-04-18T20:39:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

she is simply brilliant
so inspiring

maybe i will take AF this year

2009-04-18T01:07:00.005+08:00

this morning so drama
think is the first time crying so much early in the morning
and did MJC cheer in tears
with no tissue paper to spare!!
and no toilet paper for me and jen even when we try to calm ourselves down in the toilet!!
and my friends are so sweet to buy me 7 boxes of strawberry pokey!!
tell me, how can i control my tears at this point in time

cannot believe everything pass by so so fast
the JC2 recieved our farewell invitations and we have actually officially stepped down
jen said i told mich that dancers are hard to click, with when i first join dance
and you know what?
they are
but honestly, is all worthwhile
with all the endearing, funny, eccentric human behaviour
is kind of hard to not enjot my time with them
we have been together almost everyday for such a long time
and now we barely see each other other than the flight of steps in the LT
and studying just sucks all my soul away

one question that was bothering me is the fact that i have no idea if i have improved since i first step in
i see obvious progress from so many of them
and i kind of feel stagnant
well, if i never improve in anything
i can take comfort in giving the menacing look on count 2 anytime i want now!
ACHIEVEMENT!
haha
but really, so proud of those that stepped up and brave their way through syf
i thought it was really courageous of them to even join dance in the first place, not to mention how much and fast they have improve

i love you dancers

p.s i really like our costume and make up
is aweseom cause we are wearing it!

2009-04-16T23:36:00.003+08:00

i was feeling sad
and now frustrated because i have so much homework to complete by tmr
and i just found out a few things that is totally changing my mood from sad to being fucking pissed off
i shall turn in now and hopefully tmr will turn out just fine

now i will proceed to bed and cry myself to sleep

oh yeah, silver for syf
cheers

maybe tmr i will still remember how i feel today
and blog about how i was feeling just half an hour ago

2009-04-15T20:49:00.004+08:00

i can't screw up tmr
i owe the team my best
esp when we come such a long way
even if we get a silver, it will be awesome to feel as if we deserve a gold cause we gave our very best
you can just feel it if the dance turns out right even though you can't see it
strange right?
maybe thats the beauty of dance

for what we have accomplished the past two days i became hopeful,
not because we did perfect turns
or have perfect timing
but is definitely,definitely, definitely better than before
and dancers are just great people
quoting bjork, human are " yet so yet so yet so irresitable"
haha

thus, despite how time consuming dance is
i have to admit that when i dance, i don't think about anything else
it makes life easier in a way
tmr is going to be the official last day for dance
i know i am going to miss it

p.s my back is NOT going to hurt tmr
winnie, i shall stand at the corner and knock my back 3 times and say is not going to be poinful
trust you ar!

one last round
make it worthwhile
i know we can

just dance
Gonna be okay
Da da doo doo
just dance,
Spin that record babe
Da da doo doo
just dance
Gonna be okay
D-d-d dance, dance, dance, just
J-J-JUST DANCE!

2009-04-13T20:50:00.002+08:00

3 more days
1 more practice

stress. pressure. chaos
who cares about tutorial at this point?

damn, what am i doing
what is everybody doing?!!

i feel helpless as this is no individual effort
but again, i can't even settle my own role
i MUST get it by today
now

2009-04-12T23:52:00.002+08:00

suddenly,
in this moment,
i never felt more envious

to the point where i wish i hate you

but you just have to be so so awesome

2009-04-12T23:31:00.003+08:00

the music is on
and i started jumping like a crazy women with strands of hair flying all over the place
it feels good

but the temporary joy vanishes as soon as the music ends and reality sets in again

its 2344
time to return to the notes i have been trying to avoid this long weekend
so dreading
shall energise myself with vitamin C pills
hehe
am happier already!

2009-04-11T22:03:00.001+08:00

UCC didn't turn out too bad
thank god

5 more days..

and today i learn something
"may victory be with you"
jai ho

2009-04-10T23:43:00.004+08:00

do we belong on stage
or will we appear as if we are at the wrong place at the wrong time?
we will know tmr

lets us conquer you

2009-04-08T22:19:00.003+08:00

let tomorrow be a good day for eveyone i love please

thank you

2009-03-02T20:39:00.003+08:00

so i promise ally that i will blog a hapy post.
but today doesn't seem to go too well

please, please something please happen to make me happy.

2009-02-27T16:33:00.002+08:00

i never like to reveal to much on blogs as it is way too public for my liking. but apparently i don't know how to block entry and typing does calm me down, like now. Even though i can't stand my crappy english.

okay, just did something that made me feel much better.
shoot for the moon only to realise it is not there

Cherie, you are right, i suck

2009-02-27T16:20:00.004+08:00

all the vent up frustration, emotions
unaware
boredom does more than allowing you to reflect about the day or ponder over life wonder

there is only so much one can take

why is it happening to you? why?

2009-02-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

N,sorry i am not there
C,sorry i am not there
when i should be

Orientation 2009!

2009-02-09T20:54:00.002+08:00

Orientation was a blast!!
SUPER AWESOME!

i had so so so so so so so much fun!!!
with the mass dance, cheering and all
OOO and all the jokes we shared!

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY!
PHOBOS, WE WON!!

We even got first for finale!
SO SO SO SO OVERJOYED!

But post orientation sucks
all of us are lagging behind so much
maths lecture, the teacher was talking about some cone rotating at the y-axis
we just like HUH!!??
AND we just chiong our chem hw

As for the rest of the day, we just struggle to stay awake
haha

But phobos the best, give me a hell yeah!
one more time go!
113 the best give me a hell yeah!
one last time go
s_ _ _ _ _ _ the best, give me a hell yeah!

HAHA 113 you should be able to figure out!
=]=]

R-O-C-K ROCK!!

lately

2009-02-02T21:42:00.002+08:00

things are passing by in a blur

lectures. tutorial. dance
lectures. tutorial. dance
lectures. tutorial. dance

not too sure if i am happy of unhappy about it.

recently, my views and attitude towards life keeps fluxuating
maybe this can be explained-- I HAVE GROWN
adults are usually lazy to move around and take initiative etc
i feel like i am slowly falling into this trap
oh well

how do you interpret this?
"If life was perfect, why do roses have thorns?"

i am scared to be say too much, do too much, reveal too much

awsome sentosa day

2009-01-07T00:30:00.002+08:00

DANCE OUTING TODAY WAS SIMPLY AWESOMELY FABULOUS TO THE MAXIMUM

only 5 people turn up but hell it was fun
we had angels, mermaid and merlion! HAHA

okay thinking back i don't remember what was so fun but it has been such a long time since i felt this happy and i am happy to feel happy! haha although i bear with me the guilt of not doing my work!!

pictures will be up when amanda put it up on facebook! =]

2009-01-03T21:12:00.002+08:00

i always have a conversation scripted in my head with someone else. It will be nice if i ever get to say what i imagine.

"to be there when a friend is in pain"

A human touch is so powerful, it can create wonders.
i believe in that.

2008-12-31T00:45:00.002+08:00

i don't think i know how to react if i hear any news
will i feel numb?
somehow i think i will live in denial until i can denial it no more
fear will griped me
emotions will override me

am i supposed to be weak? stong?
it hurts to think
but i cannot shrug off the worst

sorry i am never going to leave you alone ever again

"merry" christmas

2008-12-24T22:02:00.002+08:00

due to my poor linguistic ability
there is no way of explaining my mixed up confuse feeling today

i bet everyone will once feel that someone meant more to you than you to someone. things will happen that will hurt you, even the smallest things.not knowing anything that is going on, is enough that i get that from my friends to suffer this on christmas eve, my fav season of the year. and then this happy news springs up to you and you just scold yourself for being so selfish. and you know what, is so wrong when people say that being the youngest in the family is the best.
trust me it isn't.

worst of, my blogs are for people who i care about and people who cares about me.
but in the end the ones that reads are just a bunch of gossip girls who just can't get that fat nose out of everybody's business. i guess i exaggerated but really, whay are you here?

okay i am just confused right now.
bye

2008-12-21T22:55:00.001+08:00

something made me revisit this video
even if you don't understand dance
who wouldn't be awe by her gracefulness
enjoy

2008-12-21T22:27:00.002+08:00

i guess life can be such a bitch sometimes
but is hard to feel down when you have a positive person beside you

HAPRY BIRTHDAY CHIANG!

anyway, had food ration for shan you counselling centre today.
had to go door to door and collect food.
it was simply awesome and reminds me of maxar SO MUCH
missed it really badly.
esp all the happiness we had (money, elevator and all)
i think the most important thing is the motivation to carry on.
this can be achieve by meeting a super nice family that makes you feel that enduring all the slamming of doors and the "i don't believe in charity" shit all worth it.
the heart warming feeling is just the essense of success.

quoting rachel
"food begets food"
once you have some, you get MORE!

p.s. facebook is scary. is so easy to get your photo and honestly, you never know who views you.

ta dah

2008-12-20T13:20:00.002+08:00

wow so much have happened and i am impressed with myself.
survived wihout internet for quite some time!
stupid screwed up internet.

anyway met up with yu ting and michele few days back
it was really great
i miss them!

"inferior choice"
well said
well phrase
well used

i didn't realised so till you brought my attention to it...

opps

2008-12-08T23:23:00.003+08:00

oh and i forgot to mentioned that jen got us to walk in cricles around golden landmark building for god knows how long in the RAIN looking for some turkish stall in haji lane only to find out that it is located in arab street,the street i pointed to when we first exited bugis station.

oh well we had teppan in the end! cheers to assorted mushroom!

camp tmr. hope it will be good.

you got me begging you for mercy...

dreams

2008-12-08T21:18:00.002+08:00

went out with jen and ying shi just now.
without changing out, i fell asleep
lets take a look at how much i can remember my dream

p.s. i broke my new slippers (bad karma still around)
hey jen, purchase another pair for me with your posb card! there may be discount =)

location: airport
i am with jenn and she is probably sending away her best friend(fel?)
then we met up with this whole group of people,
and suddenly i realised yu ting was there.
after a while, i saw siew ling.

other people who are present: yong keong, jade and some meridian i don't remember

we are moving

suddenly i jumped onto jade, hugging her like a kola bear(wth???)
she told yu ting i missed her
(i was like shy?)
i told yu ting something i dreamt about her
(dream within dream-- can't remember what the "within dream" part)
wanted to tell her something else but can't remember so made this sound and stomp my feet

location changed to: some restaurant with changing rooms
apparently i am wearing tights below my jeans
got so hot that i wanted to change out and only wear my jeans
went into this cubicle and there is a machine that says that this toilet bowl have not been flushed for 4 days(wth again???)
i flushed it and it took forever to go down!!
the number that counted the days slowly decrease to 0 days
i was so urgent but i don't know how to stop it from flushing!

and i think i woke up??

gee my dream is weird..

2008-12-06T11:52:00.000+08:00

seriously, karma
i was too happy during the trip
probably a sin.

2008-12-05T23:27:00.003+08:00

hopefully this will make me feel better.

not again

2008-12-05T23:07:00.003+08:00

i can't play the game murderer well because i can't lie well and i trust people too easily. especially my friends. so i detest it when people lie right into my face even after further probing. i prefer it when people say "i really don't want to talk about it" then lying. because it hurts, real bad. and that is because i treat you as a friend and you just misplaced my trust. once again, i fall into the real world with all the back stabbing shit. i always thought that the friends i befriend are those that i can place my trust in, people who are unlike those in the working world(as of now). apparently, i need to rethink that fact and stop being so ignorant.

things have been going downhill since my trip to melboune. it sucks.
JEN I NEED MY KARMA BACK!

diana, here is my down time. you are right, i can't always be smiling and happy.

2008-12-04T21:58:00.002+08:00

i feel like screaming vulgarities here but hell no, cause i am not that person. i feel trapped and frustrated and you just can't let me let go of my doings can you? one day i will burst and yell to your face only to embarrass myself. you know what. i give up even if it haunts me forever. thats it.

and you. things are going to return to what we deem as normal because you are fun and nice to talk to, but we both know otherwise. it will not work out. today, i felt so suffocating dancing in the studio, probably because the air is so humid. but it crappy to feel this way whenever i think about you.

friends

2008-12-03T23:57:00.002+08:00

sometimes, the most crappy things pull people away. even though there are so many reasons that urges you to pick up the phone, you hold on to that one reason. or perhaps the fear of sounding dumb over the phone.

you know how you feel tired after a good long laugh, but you still won't trade it for mediocre joy. interpret this yourself.

you can't expect someone to give what you are willing to give.

sighing off

AWESOME

2008-12-02T23:20:00.004+08:00

HAHA
dance trip will totally awesome
my first overseas trip with friends
AWESOME
haha

i dunno how to describe it
but in retrospect, 1 week passed by super fast
and now i am back into reality AGAIN

some memorable things..

late night bitching sessions with lots and lots of junk food
sleeping with jen
the translucent wall inbetween bathroom cubicle
conditioning workshop!--- hollowing and narrowing your waist
salsha(how to spell??) lessons!!
the wind!!
horrible flies
all the inner bitch appearing
time to time crankiness

actually so many things i am going to miss
oh well
in singapore again
gee

at least i had fun and made good friends!

signing off
=]

I CAN'T DANCE

2008-11-23T23:14:00.002+08:00

so great. i fell while dancing.
3 DAYS BEFORE MY MELBOURNE TRIP
the one i have been looking forward to
ya that
now all i can look forward to is sitting in a studio looking at all my friends dance while i sulk at the corner.

Sometimes, life's just great

but looking on the bright side
"things happen for a reason"
code from huiwen

thus i shall remain positive that miracles CAN happen and that by tuesday midnight things will all be better
just like in cinderella
except that i am not waiting for prince charming.
actually, just a flight filled with pretty girls

hmm i shall watch lots of movies in the SQ plane
and sleep while the rest are dancing
of course this will be plan B

PLAN A will be to recover and dance!

okay bye!
wish me all the best!
now i have to wobble and hobble around my room packing for a trip that i have no idea would turn out.
yeah

oo thanks for all the get well soon wishes and frantic ARE YOU OKAY!
it means a lot
=]

cheers

muhahahaha

2008-11-15T01:11:00.002+08:00

okay many commented that my previous post sounded EMO..
i think you read too much into it.
i mean just because the word HATE appeared 14 times, you guys just concluded.
hiya.
the word "GREAT" is there too!
oh well.

kkkkkkkk
this blog is too public.

OHH ate rachel's cookies today!
super nice!

crystal and i concluded that we like hokkies(how do you spell that!)

i turn on the computer
went to blogger intending to blog about stuff
and i totally don't remember what i want to blog about

sian

waste my time.

bye!

ooo: nice chat blog hopper

pour out

2008-11-13T14:25:00.004+08:00

okay before all the emotions disappear and i can't remember what i am emotional about
i am going to pour it all out
anyway don't try to understand.

i hate it when i totally regret my actions
and i hate it when i share too much
i hate it when things doesn't work out the way i want it to be
and i hate it when things work out and i still complain
i hate it when i didn't try hard enough to help others
i hate it when life is so unfair and yet so fair
i hate it when i am happy even when i am not suppose to
i hate it when i do not know how to react to my friends
and i hate it when i am FY even when i try not too
i hate it when people can read my emotions like a book
i hate it when i am so inconsiderate
and i hate it when my friends are unhappy
i hate it when i cannot bring people joy
and i hate it when...

thats all folks
i know it seems trival compared to people suffering in Africa whatsoever.
wonder what i will do in isolation

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
great..

many things happening today

2008-11-07T23:49:00.003+08:00

in the morning we have submission of final PW doc-- I&R!
yeah this marks the end of PW
bet i will miss it

then we had ms chua thank you party at daniel's place
i really hope ms chua enjoyed herself
somehow i am the F&B head

then triple e farewell party
last session
sob..
end up getting food for the party too!
weird
oh wells

supper as usual despite all the food we ate at the party
then home

AND
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANTHONY TE
AS WELL AS TAN WEN CHING!
CHEERS

you know the days whereby you regret some or most of your actions
well, today is my those days.
damn...

i have a new resolution
and i will try to keep it
it is made base on certain hapenings today.
lets see how long it lasts.

oh wells.
nights

ps: sometimes it doesn't pay to be too happy
you will just feel sad the next moment

Tuesday is Gelare Day AGAIN!

2008-11-05T00:25:00.002+08:00

GELARE with crystal, cherie and wen ching today at e!hub
i really miss those days where we go gelare and chill.

if you get there before i do
don't give up on me
i'll be there when the chores are through
i don't know how long i'll be

but i am not gonna let you down
darling wait and see
and between now and then
till i see you again
i'll be loving you
LOVE ME

being author of my friends make believe life...
well, who wants to be my editor?
apparently, someone once told me i have poor linguistic ability

ALL NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER BABIES LISTEN UP!!
I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE IF I GIVE BELATED PRESENT
I AM CURRENTLY SUPER BROKE AND IT IS ONLY BEGINNING OF THE MONTH
THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING

end of OP!

2008-11-01T00:16:00.010+08:00

Today marks the end of OP for PW!!

Before i begin, our group will be serving you a 8-course meal.

My team consists of

CHEF TAY

CHEF NEW

CHEF WONG

CHEF KHAN

honestly, we make a great team serving up quality WR as well as OP!
so the question is why are we so?
mainly, my group identified 3 main areas.
they are excellent group dynamics,
efficient allocation of jobs,
and absence of laptop with only one person with 07 microsoft
these are the key factors attributing to our team success.
Now i shall backtrack a bit to the chef themselves,
chef tay is a efficient and responsible leader
chef new is dilligent and lightens the atmosphere
chef wong is the IT savvy male character
chef khan is the one with fluent language ability to supplment the rest weaknesses.
Now to see if the team is effective as a whole lets look at its plus and negative points.
for plus points,
the team seems to be able to catch up with the other groups relatively fast even when they start slow.
and the team can afford coming to school at late hours and returning home the earliest.
on the other hand,
there is no certainty the results of the group will be what the team expected.

However, the blend and balance of the team's plus points and weaknesses brings out the best of it.
just like a fusion dish.
where you fuse it or you lose it. (cherie imitation)

with that, we have come to the end of our presentation.
once again i am xin ying,
i am clara
i am jia hao
i am nida
THANK YOU. *SMILES*

*look out for your own respective parts!

i think this journey really paid off
as i have endure hardship and forge friendship during this time.
the common vision is the main force that spur us to continue working hard.
i will really miss having working with my team of excellent chef.
good job guys, i am so proud of us!
this is one experience that will stand a place in my heart forever.
woo-hoo!

fiona xie reporting live.

WR

2008-10-15T00:04:00.002+08:00

been super busy with project work.
but YEAH!
it paid off, we are almost done with WR!!
but still have OP!
oh well..

sometimes i just wish i can just shut up and people will not ask WHY...
i think i am on the brink of hating myself and the world again.
but just no time to
how pathetic.
oh well...

k shut up now

promos OVER!

2008-09-27T01:05:00.002+08:00

YEAH promos officially over!!
chem paper was SOSOSO BAD.
the rest, hopefully can pass?
H3 BIOLOGY!! haha dream on

anyway, going to be super busy with REACH open house.
wonder how next week will end up like.. hmmm

oh well,
joined triple E programme at the pasir ris community centre today.
went quite well, i hope.
laugh A LOT!
generally, a good after exam day, which is quite a rare thing.

OKAY, can't wait for my next outing with xin yi and huiwen!
cheers!

INTERMEDIATE ballet exam

2008-09-02T17:11:00.004+08:00

9.30 this morning i had my dance.
but before that a special someone sent me a message that really made me smile!=]
ooo i was early this year!!

so what went right during the exam?

i didn't topple
examiner was less poker face than i expected
i was candidate 2!! the best candidate number to be
she didn't do grand-rounde-jan? at the bare
freq-te of adage at centre went great!
oo the other candidates were not impressive either
i poise and smile ALOT!
grand- jete seems fine =]
free work was great, although i forgot the steps at the last part
and and there is sufficient rest time! cheers

and the things that went wrong...

screwed up the turns!! NOOOOO
legs were so weak during barre work, you can actually see it trembling!
she did bree-ze =[
she did e-shape to fourth!!!!
almost fell during full contra-tun( damn my fav excercise!)
i wobbled quite a bit
i missed a step in par-de-pu-ra!!( i like this too!=[ )
forgot to split while doing the ama-nesh in the dance!
i mixed up the examiner and pianist name and greeted the wrong person.

so thats all i can remember, more rights than wrongs?

i hope so!!

actually i felt quite good after barre work (which went badly i think) and i really do hope i improved ALOT during the intensive training last few months. i mean i worked REALLY REALLY HARD...

i am sooo going to MISS ballet lessons. it was like at least 4 times a week and everyday before exam. from now on it is only going to be once a week. thats so sad and im going to become a weak dancer again.

yesterday was like my last day.. aww.

but i made awfully great friends and teacher's day kind of bonded us together. im glad! =]

and all this cannot happen without the support and encouragment of MS PANG who always believe in me. Thanks

never understimate the power of saying "im proud of you" to someone

teacher's day celebration!

2008-08-31T00:04:00.003+08:00

dance performance went brillant!!
people actually said i was good.. hmmm interesting
class party went.. okay?
somehow i really love our red cape..
like so cute..
(pictures up soon)

went back to tms after that...
AHHH
met the teachers!!
miss TMS SOSOSOSOSO MUCH!
i wil give anything to study one more day at tms..
just an ordinary day with perhaps a lab session
*winks hw*

mr oh still keeps the cheesy pick up lines we pasted in his locker last time we went back.
he said he cannot bring himself to tear it off.
my message went " people call me Clara, you can call me tonight"
reuben's :" is your name mickey cause you're so fine."
xy's " you look familar, you look like my next boyfriend."
can't rember lincoln, james and mich message.
but awww sweet of him..

Mr KC tan is an advance diver. like super cool!!
miss him. he is such a MAN.
like super loyal to his family and always so wise
ooo he is the president for some committee in school too!!( confidential)
absolutely marvellous!!

I MISS MISS SOH'S VOICE!!
"CHILDREN!!"
brought back so much memories..

all in all, tms teachers are just the best!

oooooo!! saw mr eddie tan too!
bet he forgot my name but still he is the coolest teacher. =]

other teachers we met include mr terence yeo, ms tracy lim, ms woon, lin lao shi, ms wendy tan and mr brandon choy!

hais... JC just sucks with the workload...

oh well..
i never regret coming to tms..
i learnt so much and not just academically.

FRIENDS i met are irreplacable.
TEACHERS TOO.

OH AND DID I MENTION I LOVE TMS!

p.s i have the coolest sister-in-law
and the cutest nephew!!!!! NATHAN NEW!

self actualisation

2008-08-25T20:57:00.003+08:00

self actualisation, thats where i should be heading towards.

damn it, why do i love to dance.

and i have to mug for bio now.

life is great
buy insurance from great eastern

blah

2008-08-24T11:18:00.003+08:00

so long since i last post.
can't really remember what happened, things seems flash pass.

oh well,
basically, i love my chill at bucks sessions with xy and hw.
never fails to make me feel happier!!
thanks <3

yesterday i was quite upset about something
but i feel is my first step to independence
so i shall not take it to heart anymore
even though i spent my entire afternoon sulking about it.

open house yesterday!
hmm... went relatively okay?
ting hui scared the crap out of me when she frightened me at the pantry.
she is so going to get it...

okay my thoughts re jumping everywhere but
self-actualization.
think about it. are you there?

2ND SEPTEMBER...
my last memories of dance..